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Powerful Feminine and Peaceful Male

Last Tuesday the Dakinis, my meditation group for women, plunged into a shared experienced of ancient news. We were feeding our fears of Corona. And were met by powerful feminine and peaceful male figures, suggesting their union as a solution to the current crisis, in each of us and in the world we share.

In Vajrayana Buddhism the couple in union symbolises the enlightened mind. Jung said that the highest realisation is that in every man there is a woman, and in every woman there is a man; our job is to make these polarities coexist in harmony.


Marc Chagall (1887-1985)


When the shadows roam free

We were meeting on-line as usually. Noting special there. The difference was the Corona. In a blink of an eye the virus had completely changed our lives. Shops, schools, and borders were closing around us. We were locked up in our homes. And suddenly all sorts of shadows were roaming free on the internet and in our indvidual worlds.

To stay open as the world is closing is a tall order. Even for meditators who gladly sign up for weeks of group retreat or go solo in a tiny cabin. To be forced into retreat by a deadly virus is a whole different ballgame.


Feeding your demons 

I invited the women to feed their demons. To open to whatever difficult feeling was arising. Meeting their fears of death, loss of loved ones, job, money, power, control. Anxiety, anger, despair, and impulses to hoard.

Feeding your demons is a meditation practice, based on Chöd, a Varayana Buddhist tradition. During the meditation you imagine your difficult emotions as beings and feed the underlying longing. This act of kindness transforms inner demons into benevolent allies, a lifesupport.


The fears we fed 

A meditator in the Swedish woods fed a lump in her throat, a doctor in Africa fed her impotens of being in quarantine, a mother in Copenhagen fed her anxiety of working from home, a grandmother in Austria fed worrying about her daughter in labour.

All sorts of fears were fed, including fears of other people’s judgement and judgement of others people’s fears.

We have done this many times. Fed our demons. And we have often experienced synchronicity and always seen our selves in each other. But we have never before fed a shared demon and never before have our allies rallied up in a unifying symbol, spelling it out loud to us: We need the powerful female and the peaceful male to come together.


Street Art, Barcelona


The allies we met 

What happened during our meditation was a display of Oneness.
All the women had aggressive male figures as their demons. Half of them – exactly half – had powerful females as their Allies. The other half were met by peaceful male figures. And I who was the guide was met by the couple in union.

By facing our fears of Corona and resting in the not knowing, we met up in the great big collective unconscious. In return we were gifted with a symbol of the Medicine, and a sense of knowing that this too shall pass. As one women wrote later: I have felt much more calm after our meeting and am now almost enjoying my isolation as a time of rest.


What is powerful feminine? 

By powerful feminine, I don’t mean women firing guns at who ever gets in their way. I don’t mean the ways of the patriarchs. I mean firm and tender. Like the female figures appearing in our meditation that Tuesday.

The Great Mother archetype. The Mother of Mothers, as the mother named her ally; a tall female figure, firm and tender, embracing all the tears, worries and anger of a mother.

Or the Daughter Archetype like the wrathful witch with fangs, dormant in all of us, always ready to come to our aid. She does not take any shit, she just deals with whatever comes up. Bringing me cool calmness.

Or the playful pinkish-purplish angel with dancing shoes, making me dance instead of judge and embracing me with fluffy warm wings. When I think of her, I really feel the warm soft feather shelter.


What is peaceful male? 

Peaceful male energy is caring and containing. Resting. Not acting. Like Ferdinand, the peace loving bull, who prefers to sit under a tree and enjoy the scent of flowers.

Or the archetype of the child, a playful two year old boy, who can help me lay down the burden of control and relax. And be happy with what is even these days.

Or the Nameless Man with long soft limbs, whom I now have brief inner conversations with and he has a truly kind way of reflecting about what I say and mirror it in a friendly way.


Marsden Hartley (1877-1943)
Marsden Hartley (1877-1943)


What the world needs now 

As individuals we need to strengthen different aspects. Some need to empower their feminine, others to bring out the peaceful male. We all need both. And the world needs these polarities to work together in harmony.

We need to empower the feminine. For that to happen we need to see how handsome the peaceful and vulnerable male is. We need to let our boys cry. And still respect them.

We all, but maybe particularly men, need to lay down the illusion and the burden of being self-sufficient and dominant as philosopher Martha Nussbaum puts it; opening up to fears and tears and the scent of flowers.

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